So my history with the opposite sex has been fairly tortured. Didn’t date till I was 19, met someone, sad story, broke up, a bunch more sad stories, till we arrive at today’s post. And for the first time, I feel happy and healthy about the men in my life and how I’m relating to them. There’s not much to tell, I’m not really dating, but I have two crushes that make me feel good. One is the youngling I mentioned in an earlier post. He’s a fun flirtation that may or may not go further, but I’m really enjoying his sassiness and confidence and playfulness. He’s a good man and I’m enjoying getting to know him more as a person. I don’t think I’ve ever really done that before.

The other man doesn’t live near me, I met him at a recent event I attended. I felt really attracted to him and we were able to spend a small amount of time together before going back to our homes. He’s also an interesting person and it seems he wants to get to know me also. And I think visiting might be option, eventually. I’m pretty sure I’d visit him, if it got that far. I realize these two situations don’t sound like much but, for me, they’re incredible steps forward.

I feel like an adult, not like a child who is desperately trying to get attention from someone who isn’t interested. Not that I never have those moments, but they don’t rule me. I do have a little anxiety about reverting to that state – it’s been my MO for a long time and habits aren’t broken immediately. But I’m hoping that my emotional healthiness, coupled with support from good friends, will help me stay in this good place. I just feel good about myself – confident, strong, attractive, and desirable. I don’t remember ever feeling this way before and I want to just roll around in it for a long, long time.